Saturday morning, we’re three weeks out & everything seems to be coming along nicely. {A} is out finalising flowers, makeup etc & I’m writing the finishing touches to the vows. Of all people I was actually inspired by Kurt Cobain & Courtney Love’s wedding vows. No mention of God, no soppy lovey dovey crap, and guests aren’t going to fall asleep while the Pastor or Celebrant waffles through a full church sermon.

Now when you booked your venue, you would have or should have sourced a Celebrant. Luckily for us my Aunt is a Civil Celebrant, so it was an easy choice. I must say my Aunt has been fantastic for ideas and has wicked sense of humour too. A few weeks back she emailed me & asked if the restaurant does Halal. I admit I had only heard of it, and after doing a little Wiki searching I realised she was pulling my leg. So I reminded her it is a Winery, to which she suggested we could take better advantage of, and so I included a short wine ceremony (to settle the nerves of course) into our vows.

With regard to the legal’s, your Celebrant will send you or tell you where you can download a Notice of Intended Marriage – Form 13 of the Marriage Act. This needs to be completed and witnessed by an authorised Celebrant, JP or someone legally qualified. She will also need to witness your original birth certificates.

The Mr.

The Buck’s
Well the bucks party went off without a hitch, and all in all it was a good days fishing. No strippers but we all got crabs, and may I say Spanner Crabs and Spanish Mackerel make for a divine evening of seafood. Tip for the day: if you haven’t been deep sea fishing before, only book a half day. Your friends who forget their sea sick tablets will thank you later.

Honeymoon
New Zealand immigration are still making me jump through hoops. I received an email earlier this month stating “they do not consider my grounds for wishing to travel to New Zealand are of an exceptional humanitarian nature”. What does that mean exactly?

Well after several emails back and forward, it quite simply means “new protocols”. In the last 3 years everyone has tightened their borders and their risk assessment seems a lot more thorough now. The best you can do is give them all the details they need and failing that have a backup plan. I recommend only booking air fares that can be changed, some of the cheap flights will cost you twice as much if you have to change destinations. Your care hire and accommodation can be sorted last minute after approval is granted.

The Mr.

The Buck’s party (or stag night if your anywhere else in the world): a rite of passage from bachelorhood to a “more responsible” marital life.

I have spoken to a lot of married mates & girl friends of {A} and it seems this is the argument of all arguments. If you get through this with your balls still intact, it’s probably because they’re already in her purse. I’ve had reports of slammed doors, taking off in the car and thrown objects. If your misses has as much self control as {A} then you should still be prepared for the silent treatment.

It starts something like “you better not be having any strippers!”… has content along the lines of “you said I was the only girl you had eyes for, I don’t know why you need to look at strippers anyway”… and will probably finish with “if you have strippers there, there will be NO wedding”.

All valid points I might add. So the question I had to ask myself was “what is my intention”. Ultimately for me it’s about going out & having a good time with my mates. From past experience, we would go out & someone would pickup and disappear from the group. We never seemed to go out & stay out just as a group of mates (without girls).

This in mind I’ve booked a fishing charter boat. Traditionally the Best Man would organise the party but he’s been busy buying a house and moving in. This worked well as I’ve had all control (because the last thing I want is another argument like that). Besides, a titty girl on a boat and the only “show” you get is the back of her head as she feeds the fish more burley is not my idea of money well spent.

Having said that, what’s good for the Goose is good for the Gander. {A} came home last night & mentioned the hen’s night. Apparently if the Bridesmaid had heard of the idea a little earlier, {A} would be partaking in a “life drawing class” using (quote) a hot, buff, young, male model (un-quote). Even without booze it certainly arouses the imagination & makes a good girl blush.

So busted!

The Mr.